the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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