Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
