: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
