Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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