I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
