I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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