The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
