he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
