so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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