yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
