He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
