I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
