I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
