it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He did a backflip because drugs
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