Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize