i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
