That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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