So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You're breaking my sexual little heart
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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