Its about making memories worth repressing
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
