Don't you send me to vm
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
