i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
