just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
