i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
