omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize