You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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