Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
