He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
