Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
