I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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