dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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