i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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