Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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