No stitches, just platelets and will power
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
