just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
