theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
