So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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