Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
