I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
