Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
