I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
