I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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