I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
