What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
