what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
