smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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