Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
