I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
