i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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