dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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