are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
