found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
