I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
