So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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