Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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