My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
