Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
