He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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