just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
