The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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