Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
