RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i now understand why vodka
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
