if i died would you start the facebook group?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
