Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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